InsaneJournal

Who Is Your Family? - Snape/Remus
First posted to hpslashnotsmut: 04-30-2007

Title: Who Is Your Family?
Author: Rain ( iheartbowie )
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of off screen dirtiness)
Word Count: ~7,130
Pairings: Remus/Severus
Warnings: (not dirty warnings, but brief things you may wish to know about) Usage of an OMC, ridiculous amounts of fluff?
Summary: After the war, werewolves finally have a place to go. One werewolf contemplates the meaning of “family.” Severus cannot seem to understand.
Author's Note: I realize that this may not be exactly what was expected, but hopefully it will still be very much so enjoyed. ^_^ Thanks muchly to Miss B who helped clean this up a great deal for me.




Writing an essay on "who is your family" was a creative topic for students. The students at this school were no exception. Channing Lupin stared down at his paper and tried to think of how best to write everything out. Miss Granger asked for all of her students to think of the people that they loved best and write about them, no matter where they were.

Channing chewed on the end of his quill absently, not paying attention to the smudge of ink that was forming across his lips. His russet brown hair was hanging in his face, so he quickly collected it behind him and tied it with a black leather tie. He let out a sigh and propped his chin in his hands.

Channing was a student at Daniel De Vries School for Extraordinary Children, founded in 1998, under Headmaster Remus Lupin. The school was created in order to assist with the numerous refuges and orphans among wizards and Muggles, and specifically those that had been cursed to change once a month into a howling wolf.

The first thing Channing thought to do was to make a list of all of the people who were his family. It seemed rather long once he finished it. There were his friends from school, his teachers, and of course, his dad.

His friends were certainly fun. They got to play together and they did their school work together. Channing loved to tell stories about them. He had a whole journal of stories about his friends that he was very proud of, but Channing was not sure if they were people that he loved best.

Channing did like his teachers a lot. Miss Granger was nice, and she taught them all sorts of cool stuff. On the weekends, Mr. Wood would come and show them all how to fly on brooms. Sometimes Harry would come to visit his dad and they would tell stories. McGonagall sometimes visited and always looked so proud of the school. She even let Channing pet her when she turned into a kitty. He liked all of them a great deal, but they still weren't the people that he loved best.

He looked at the list that he had, crossing off his friends and teachers from the list. That left only three more names. The first was very easy, his mum. Channing did not remember a lot about her. She died when he was still a baby.

What he did remember was that she used to sing to him, just a small song that sounded nice and made him smile.

Channing knew that he had been close to three or four when his mother died, nearly four years before. His memory of her was sometimes a bit fuzzy. He could never really say if she had long hair or short hair, or even if it was the same color as his own.

She seemed smaller than the other people that had been at the camp where he was born. Channing knew that he fit perfectly in her lap, however and that was all that mattered. She would run her fingers through his hair and sing softly to him.

“Sweetest little fellow everybody knows. Don't know what to call him, but he's mighty like a rose. Looking for his Mummy with eyes so pretty brown. Making you think that heaven is coming close to you…”

That was something that he knew he could write about. The song had always brought a smile to his face. The sound of his mother’s voice lulled him whenever he was feeling worried or upset. It wasn’t very hard to write about that and he started to fill up the page with a few sentences.

Next on the list were his dad and Sev. Channing's dad was not his real dad, but it did not matter to him in the least.

Channing had been born in the werewolf camp controlled by Greyback. He did not know who his real father was, but he remembered when Remus came to the camp. Channing had been playing by the hut that he lived in, when Remus had stumbled over to it, obviously hurt and tired. At five years old, it was difficult for Channing to understand what was going on. So he did what his mum had always done and gave Remus a kiss "all-bettah."

Remus stayed at the camp with Channing off and on during the next year. Remus had given Channing a name since the only one the boy had known was "Baby," which did not sit particularly well with Remus. With his surroundings as they were, Channing was thrilled to have someone that would play with him. Channing had another friend, but the boy had stopped coming to see him after Remus came to the camp.

Channing was content with his new companion. The other people at the camp did not seem to like Remus however. They were often sharp and mean to Remus. One day there was a loud yelling match and Remus got into a fight with a few of the men. Channing tried to hide, but other men there grabbed Channing and pulled him out towards a clearing of trees.

Channing screamed and cried, trying to get away from the men that laughed at him. He was tossed at the foot of a tree and then tied to it.

“Get BACK!” yelled the camp leader, giving the other men a frighteningly stern look.

Channing shrunk away from the yell and let out a short squeak of fear. The men turned to the horizon for a moment and everything seemed to change in an instant. Channing’s eyes widened as the men in front of him suddenly changed, arching and crying out in pain.

Fur spurted from their skin and ragged bits of clothing went flying off their bodies as they settled into the form of wolves. The little boy’s heart pounded in his chest and he screamed on and on. The sound of his screams mixed with the guttural sounds of wolf howls.

The wolves began to fight among themselves, a few of them vanishing into the trees. The wolf who had been the camp leader stood in front of him and viciously fought off several of the wolves that seemed interested in attacking Channing. Channing shook as things began to blur around him. There was fur and claws, but his fear clouded everything. The fighting went on for what seemed like forever, until there were only two wolves left in the clearing. The camp leader was the larger of the two and they circled around one another for several long moments before attacking.

Channing’s vision blurred as it filled with tears. “No! No! No!” he chanted frantically.

His memory faltered at this point as he saw a bright splash of red and he suddenly felt a tearing pain shooting through his body. It flared in him and then suddenly there was nothing.

The next thing that Channing remembered was a soft bed and strange lady hovering over him. Channing suddenly screamed and tried to get away. It was too frightening. There were wolves and they tied him to a tree and he did not know what had happened to Remus. He was so scared.

“…Channing? Channing it’s all right. I promise I’m here…”

That voice was familiar and Channing slowly calmed enough to register that the lady was gone and it was Remus, his friend, holding him tightly. Suddenly the world had suddenly righted itself and Channing clung to Remus and cried.

Remus had continued to hold him tightly, rubbing comforting circles into his back. He whispered to him softly in his ear, “It’s all right. I’m here. You’ll always be safe. I will always protect you.”

“Re-us!” Channing wept, rubbing his face into Remus’s chest. His head felt funny and his whole body hurt. “Re-us…I hurt!”

“I know,” Remus said, sounding very sad. “I know. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you. You’ll never have to go back there. I promise you. You’ll never see those people again.”

“Re-us…” Channing whimpered.

“You were hurt very badly,” Remus explained to him carefully. “You’ll be okay. Poppy and I will take care of you and make the hurt go away.”

Channing nodded, but he was too tired and young to understand the implications of being hurt badly. It was not until he was a bit older that he finally understood that he had been given the same curse that Remus had. Channing was a werewolf. He would grow up with the knowledge that he was not a bad person because of what someone else had done to him. With Remus as his father he would never have to live to regret what had been done to him.

All Channing knew at the time was that those words had filled him with the calm needed to finish mending his bruised and battered body. This time Remus had kissed the "boo-boo" better and that was all it took. Channing became convinced that his dad (or Daddy if he was feeling particularly affectionate) hung the moon.

Channing had a lot more to write about his dad than he did his mother. And he covered more than just a few sentences on the subject.

He tapped his quill lightly against his chin, the smudge of ink growing even more. The next part of the essay was going to be much harder to write; Sev was a very difficult person for him to explain. He liked Sev for a lot of different reasons. Sev was very smart and he took care of helping all of the werewolves at the school and the village by supplying them with their special potion. Sev might not have been very good about making it taste good, but he was still very nice for doing all of that work.

However, Channing knew without a doubt that he loved Sev and for a very easy reason. Sev loved Remus.

When Channing was taken from the camp it was a very sad time for a lot of people. There was fighting and someone was trying to hurt Remus and Remus's friends. Channing learned about the war as he got older, but he learned more from observing everyone that was around him. He learned a great deal about this “Snape” person that no one seemed to like.

At the Burrow, where Channing stayed, one lady came to visit to speak with Mrs. Weasley. This new lady looked very sad, more so than any other grown-up had looked. Channing knew almost instantly that he liked this lady. He came up beside her and looked up at her. The little boy was about six years old and he reached up to take the lady's hands in both of his little ones. He pressed a little kiss to her hand and said, "All bettah."

There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at Channing, but she smiled warmly at him. "You must be Channing. I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" Channing asked looking rather surprised that someone would talk about him.

"Yes, really," the lady said with a smile. He did not have proper introductions at the time, but he learned later that this was McGonagall and she ran the school that Remus had gone to when he was young.

Channing giggled. He curled his arms around McGonagall's wrist. "Are you sad that the grown-ups say mean things?" he asked.

McGonagall nodded slowly. "He would not like to know that these people talk about him in this manner."

"The Snape person?" Channing asked.

McGonagall nodded, reaching out to pat Channing's arms lightly. "He did what he could do to help our cause. It was not his fault," she said softly.

Channing rested his cheek against McGonagall's arm and watched the grown-ups laugh and talk more. "I think I'll like him, too," Channing told her softly.

It was not until after Remus had opened the school and that Channing had the opportunity to meet "the Snape person." Snape had come to the school and stormed through the halls as if he was in charge. Snape was rather scary looking the first time Channing saw him. Channing had been leaving his dad’s rooms in order to go to his classes for the day, when he spotted Snape. He was just like everyone had said. He wore only black robes and his hair did not look very clean. He stopped a few steps away from Channing, staring at him with the grumpiest look that Channing had ever seen, before storming into the Lupins’ quarters.

It was not uncommon by this point for Channing to seek out the people who looked unhappier than other people. Channing turned around to follow him, but froze the moment that he heard his dad yelling. Dad never yelled.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD ME THE TRUTH? I ALMOST LET HER CONVINCE ME TO MARRY HER!"

There was more after that, but Channing could not hear it in the hallway. He slowly looked around the doorframe, hoping to see what was going on in the room. His dad was against the wall and Snape was kissing him. Channing's eyes widened in surprise and his mouth opened like a fish.

"Just shut up. Shut up," Sev said softly after a moment of kissing. "I love you. Just shut up."

Channing thought that it was completely obvious why he thought that Sev was part of his family. Channing would never think differently about Sev, not after hearing him say those magic words to his dad. Sev was always grumpy and mean to everyone, but Dad made him smile. Channing secretly thought that Sev was rather pretty when he smiled, but he did not want to tell anyone. Sev would probably have gotten very grumpy with him if he found out.

Just as Channing finished writing about all of the reasons why he loved Sev, there was a knock to his door. Dad opened the door and popped his head in. "It's late. You've still got lessons tomorrow," he said with a smile.

"Just finished, Dad," Channing said proudly. He put all of his homework away and ran for the bathroom. Remus was waiting for him when he returned in a fresh set of pajamas. Remus pulled down the covers and tucked Channing in.

"Good night, pup," he said fondly, leaning to kiss Channing's forehead.

"Good night, Dad."

*

The Full Moon would not rise until well after dinner the following day. More than a few of the students were given the day off from classes because of it. Remus often spent the day trying to relax and not stress over the mountain of work waiting for him when he finished. Sometimes, he thought that if he had known that it would be so much work to run his own school that he would not have taken it on at all. Other times he admitted that he would have taken it on if he had known that there would have been even more work.

Snape only taught one or two classes a day, focusing more on potion-making for the entire school population’s monthly problem. This allowed for Remus to be comfortably in bed with Severus straddling his hips to give him a deeply appreciated back massage that afternoon. He smiled faintly at the attention that he was receiving. They had made love more than once since the day had begun and Remus was feeling contently sated at the moment.

"I'll need to leave first thing next week, to work out the details for bringing the new student from the States. Minerva stated that there was no immediate rush, but I think everyone involved would much rather have this handled quickly," Remus said, breaking the silence. He had recently received a letter about another possible student that he intended to visit.

"It's understandable, but I do not see why you did not immediately collect her if you feel that way," Snape commented.

"This will be the girl's first Full Moon. And if what Minerva was saying was correct, her parents were practically begging not to be left around her. They refused to admit that she was even their child. It would serve them right to have to listen to her all night long," Remus said with a faint smirk.

"Ahh…I always knew that you had a rather malicious streak in you," Snape said with a faint chuckle.

Remus let out a faint hiss as Snape ran over a particularly sore spot. Snape turned his attention more directly to that spot, trying to ease the tension from the sore muscles. Remus had not always been so bitter. Remus felt that after all this time, great surprises did little to affect him and he could find amusement in things that most would consider dark. He had years of practice trying to move on and he had begun to find that people receiving what they deserved was hilarious.

Originally, Remus had been infuriated by Severus's refusal to inform him about the plans set up by Dumbledore. However, Remus understood that there were spells at work to prevent Severus from being able to "accidentally" reveal the truth to anyone who could affect the outcome. Remus was working closely with the werewolves at the time and therefore it could have been dangerous if he were brought in too close to the circle of Death Eaters.

"Will you and Channing be here this evening or did you want to join the others with running?" Snape asked, breaking Remus from his thoughts.

"I think I need a good run, if you don't mind," Remus said, glancing up at Severus.

"That will be fine," Snape said. "I am certain that the work in my own work room will keep me occupied through most of the evening."

Remus chuckled lightly. "Because Merlin forbid you sleep while we're romping through the forest."

"If there were fewer bruised and bleeding werewolves at the end of the Full Moon it would prove to be much easier to sleep through the night," Snape pointed out.

"Young people are always getting into scraps. It's impossible to expect that they would be perfect," Remus said.

"It would not be wise of us to become too hopeful," Snape drawled. "We would not want all of our hopes crushed."

Remus laughed a bit more at Snape's sarcasm. "That would be terrible," he said, still grinning.

Snape shifted off of Remus's hips and put away the lotion that he had been massaging into Remus's joints and muscles. "You should be a bit more limber this evening, but I would not recommend that you do anything too strenuous. You are hardly as young as you used to be."

"Oh, how you love to remind me," Remus groaned as he sat up. "One of these days you're going to have the same problem, so I wouldn't sound too smug if I were you." Remus stretched his arms over his head and let out one final hiss as he popped his back.

"I am certain that you will have more than a little fun mocking my inability to move properly as I fall into old age," Snape commented.

"Most likely," Remus said offering him a cheeky smile.

"And you have the benefit of only having this problem for a few days during the month," Snape pointed out. "Of course, when you do, you have the added benefit of my assistance with ensuring that you do not have as much pain."

Remus reached out to take one of Snape's hands in his own. He brought it up to his cheek, nuzzling the back of it lightly. "Yes. Something that I will always be grateful for," he said.

"See that you are," Snape said with a hint of a smirk.

A charm rang lightly from the living room and Remus pulled himself from the bed. "That would be Channing. Classes should be over by now," he said. He slipped on his pajama bottoms and a warm robe before heading into the room to await his son's arrival.

Channing burst into the room excitedly, calling for Remus repeatedly. Remus took a seat on the sofa just in time for Channing to jump up beside him. "Oh Dad! Today was fun! I'm glad that I was not sick and could go to school," he said, giving him a tight hug around the neck.

Remus held back the agreement that he had for that thought but smiled happily. "What did you do today?"

"Miss Granger asked us to write about our family and we read them in class. She said I did a very good job and that I should show it to you and Sev," Channing said. He quickly thrust the parchment with his essay at Remus.

Remus was a bit curious to know what exactly Channing would have written about his own family. It seemed that Severus was a bit curious as well, as he came up behind the sofa and looked over Remus's shoulder.

My Mum is my first family. I don't really remember her much. She died when I was really little. She was really nice though and loved me a whole lot. She would sing to me and tell me stories. My Mum had a pretty voice that I liked to listen to. I didn't know what she was saying a lot, but it was still really nice. She would hold me tight and give me kisses. She did not smile a lot and I know that she was very sad. My Mum went to where the angels live and know that she's happy there.

Remus is my Dad. He's not my real dad, but he's still the best. I used to call him Re-Da when I was younger and he lived with me in the camp. When I was little I got bit and made into a werewolf like Dad. He took me away from the camp and brought me to the Burrow where I got to make friends. It was nice there because I didn't like living at the camp. Dad couldn't be with me all the time, but I know that he was doing important stuff. We learned all about it in school.

My Dad is the most bravest guy in the world. He protects me from the bad dreams and helps me do my homework. My Dad is cool because he made a special school for werewolf kids so that no one has to feel bad because they are different. My Dad does a lot of work to make the school good for everyone.

The last person in my family is Sev. Sev tried to tell me that I should call him something different but I was too little to remember and it was hard to say. So I just call him Sev and he doesn't seem to mind too much anymore. Sev is different from my Dad because he's doesn't tell stories right and he can be grumpy sometimes. I don't mind that he can't do all of that because he's still my family.

The reason why Sev is my family is because he loves my Dad. Sev takes care of Dad when the moon is full and we have to change. Sev makes sure that everyone at the school has their magic potion so that we won't get sick or hurt. Sev will take care of me if Dad asks because he has to go somewhere important. Sev does all sorts of good things just because he loves my Dad. Since Sev is so good, I love him, too.

Remus's eyes widened as he read through the essay. It was far from perfect and the grammar was not very good in a few places, but it was obvious that Channing had put down all of his thoughts and feelings. Remus easily became a pile of parental mush as Channing talked about him and all of the good things that he had done. His eyes misted over when he reached the part about Severus. Severus reached over his shoulder and took the parchment from Remus when it appeared that he had finished.

"Oh Channing, that was wonderful. I'm so proud of you," Remus said, pulling the young boy in for a tight hug.

Channing happily cuddled with Remus. "I'm proud of you, too, Dad," he said. "I love you a whole lot."

Remus saw that Snape moved out from behind the sofa and took a seat across from them. He seemed to be reading the entire essay over again. His face looked a bit pale and his eyes were wider than Remus could have recalled seeing them before.

"I think Sev would appreciate it if you gave him a hug," Remus whispered into Channing's ear with a small smile. "I think you surprised him."

Channing quickly bobbed his head in agreement and scrambled off the sofa. He stopped in front of Severus, waiting for him to finally look up from the essay. Channing's smile was big as he quickly hugged him tightly around the neck.

"I love you, too, Sev," Channing said before finally pulling back.

Snape nodded. "Of…of course," he sputtered.

Channing laughed. "You're supposed to say it back, like you do with Dad!"

"Oh…" Snape was taken aback and looked over at Remus. Remus took pity on Snape for the moment.

"It's all right, Channing. I think he liked what you wrote," Remus said.

Channing let out a brief cheer of excitement, bouncing in place briefly. "Can I go see my friends before we have to change, Dad?" he asked. Childish attention spans lasted only so long before they were already on the next subject.

"Of course. Be back here before dinner," Remus said.

"Sure thing, Dad," Channing said before rushing out of the room.

Remus stood up and moved beside Snape. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes. Why would I not be?" Snape asked, standing up suddenly. He headed back into the bedroom without looking back at Remus.

Remus chuckled lightly and shook his head. Severus would need some time to understand what had just happened it seemed. Remus was still feeling rather good after all of the pampering that day and he decided that he would start working on the letter to Minerva that he had not been able to get to before. When Severus was ready to talk about Channing's essay, he would be waiting.

*

By the time everyone settled in for dinner, Severus was still not ready to discuss the topic. Remus had gone through a small stack of personal letters while Snape had holed himself up in his room, deep in thought. Snape had a great deal of difficulty dealing with positive emotions directed at him at times and perhaps his shock over the essay was impeding his ability to understand. Regardless of what the actual reason was, Remus was beginning to get tired of waiting for him to work it all out on his own.

Unfortunately for the impatient werewolf, it was not possible to discuss the subject with Snape until much later. When dinner was completed the werewolf children needed to be ushered off to where they felt most comfortable completing their change. Some of the children would remain locked in their rooms, preferring the privacy to a crowd of people. Others would join the wolves in the village, where they would have a great deal of room to romp and many other wolves to play with.

Once everyone else was settled, Remus and Channing barely had time to wish Severus a good night before they needed to leave as well. Channing gave Severus a brief hug before running down the hall towards the grounds. While Severus was once again shell-shocked, Remus sneaked in a final kiss.

"Don't agonize over this all evening," Remus said. "He loves you, which is a good thing."

Snape rolled his eyes and turned back down the hall to his workroom. There was still a long evening ahead of him and he wanted to make sure that he finished more than one project before everyone changed back. He wisely did not allow himself to think on the subject until he was comfortably working behind a smoking cauldron. The scents and motions of brewing easily cleared away the last of the tension that had balled up inside of him.

Snape did not have any reason to doubt Channing's words. The boy was unfailingly honest and was more loyal than any Hufflepuff that Snape had ever met. The part he was still failing to completely comprehend was the reason for Channing's affection. How could the boy simply say that Severus's affection for Remus was reason enough for the boy to offer similar affection?

Things were very simple when you were a child. He knew that when he was a child, Severus simply loved his mother because that was what she was. As he grew older he loved her for more complex reasons. She would hold his hand in hers when he was sick, staying at his side for hours. His mother was a sad kind of beautiful, unsatisfied with her place and life. She could create magic in her hands by cooking, sewing, and knitting. Every night she would kiss his forehead and send him off to his room, even when Snape was too old and no longer "wanted" such affection.

Love for a parent was truly the easiest form of love. It was also conversely the easiest form of hate, as it had been with his father. Children are spiteful and mean and they can hold terrible grudges for years. They are also blindly loyal and convinced of the contents of their own heart. Perhaps that was all it was. Channing was blinded by the words shared between Remus and Severus to truly understand his own feelings.

If that was the case, if Channing was simply repeating the notion supplied by his father, then what exactly would the boy's true feelings be on the matter? Severus wondered briefly.

It did not appear to Severus, at least, that Channing had any type of dislike for him. The boy had always been excitable and asked many questions. They were sometimes childish questions, but every once and a while the boy had surprised Severus with intelligent questions. The boy seemed to watch people a great deal and soaked up everything around him like a sponge.

No, it was not possible for Channing to dislike anyone, it seemed. The boy even smiled at the children who had been rude or disrespectful to him. It was almost fascinating to see that Channing continued to flow through life in a manner that was filled with anything but deep scorn and distrust. Channing was a child living in a werewolf camp for his youngest years. He was bit by the same man that cursed Remus over thirty years before. It seemed almost impossible for the boy to be as happy and loving as he was.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was nearly finished with the calming draught that he was working on. His stocks of the potion for the school were already high with the Full Moon, but Severus chose to use this time to finish the replenishing of their stock.

He found it difficult to remain set on the notion that Channing could not possibly have affection for him. His arguments contradicted his beliefs. Children should not be allowed to affect adult lives in this manner. Especially when they were not the adult in question's child, Severus thought with some mild irritation.

Remus was of the belief that it should be simple. The boy claimed to love Snape, and that was simply accepted and approved of. Snape could not claim to understand Remus's logic on many subjects and this was certainly among them.

*

The following weeks were a whirlwind of activity, it seemed. Remus had to go to America in order to collect the new student and there was always work to be completed for the school. Snape did not envy him his work. He preferred having the limited responsibilities even if it left him in charge of Channing while Remus was busy with running the school.

Remus was finally given some respite after he returned from a brief trip to Hogwarts to speak with McGonagall. The three of them sat in the living room of their quarters. Seated comfortably in Remus's lap, Channing was read aloud to his latest story about his friends. Snape was working at the desk, going through a few letters that he had to write. Despite have less responsibility at this school, he continued to receive requests for assistance on different projects and asked questions about Potions research.

"Sev?" Channing asked, as he got up to collect the tray of biscuits that sat on the coffee table. "You asked me to remind you that the timer was going to go off."

Snape glanced at the clock and nodded. "Of course, thank you," he said. Within their quarters he would occasionally complete some brewing. He had a potion that he had been experimenting with that he decided to work on while they enjoyed the peaceful afternoon together. It was certainly more comfortable to remain in their quarters than be alone in his workroom.

Snape stood and slipped into the small side room where he had set up his cauldron. He did not bother to close the door behind him, knowing that he would return to the living room in a moment. The smoking cauldron was waiting expectantly and the alarm that he set up chimed just as he came into the room.

"Is Sev…grumpy all the time?" Channing asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sometimes he is," Remus responded. "It's part of his charm."

It was silent for a moment before Channing spoke again. "You know…Sev is kind of like my dad, too."

Snape stopped mid-stir, catching himself after just a moment and resuming his work.

"He does all sorts of cool stuff like I said in my essay," Channing explained. "I really like Sev, but sometimes I don't know how much he likes me. I wouldn't have to call him 'dad' or anything. It would just be kinda nice to know that he did like me."

Remus responded, but Snape stopped listening. He thought on what Channing had just said. Snape had reasoned out earlier that Channing had not been making up a story for Remus's benefit. Channing obviously did care about Snape, and his last comments only confirmed it.

It was almost embarrassing to realize that a small child looked up to him in that manner. He had never been the sort to inspire any sort of positive feeling from anyone. Remus had always been the exception, but he had long since given up on attempting to explain that.

"Must there always be a reason for you?" Remus had snapped. They had been seated in the drawing room at Grimmauld Place at the time. "I just said that I love you, and all you want to do is rationalize it!"

Snape had not known what to say, and gaping like a fish had been rather embarrassing. Remus simply took the opportunity offered to him, straddled Snape's waist and proceeded to kiss him until he gave up on the idea of thought.

"If I could explain it, then that would be one thing, but I can't," Remus said gently after a few moments. He ran a hand lightly through Snape's inky hair. "I just do."

Snape found that to be incredible. He had a long list, categorized by subject, detailing all of the reasons why he knew that his heart belonged to Remus and Remus alone. There were new reasons that he discovered daily and he was certain that he would continue to find more reasons the longer they lived. He had always needed things to be explained and given detailed descriptions. It was often why he was so successful with his research. His one-track mind insisted that it had to have the answer or it would not be satisfied.

Whatever the exact answer was for Channing, it appeared that Snape would never truly see it. Emotions were too difficult for him to accept as they were abstract and mutable. However, at this point he realized that the true problem lay in his own actions.

And he felt guilty about it.

As much as he was loath to admit to something of that nature, he actually felt bad for causing the boy to question him in such a manner. Admittedly, he had no reason to dislike the boy, save the usual. Channing was, of course, under the age of proper comprehension of most worthwhile subjects.

Now, that was certainly unfortunate for Snape, but that did not imply that Channing would remain that way for his entire life. There were ways to pass on enthusiasm. Young people were usually susceptible to their parents' judgment on many things. It would be possible to pass on his thoughts about worthwhile subjects to the boy and as he grew older they would be able to discuss these subjects.

There was a risk that the boy would never successfully manage to comprehend the subject. If that were the case, it would be a waste of hours spent trying to enlighten the boy. Snape did not know what in the world they would be able to discuss if the boy did not understand.

Snape shook his head. Good grief, he's just a child. I've dealt with everything from dark creatures wanting to eat me to staring the Dark Lord in the face and lying. I can handle finding a way to associate with a boy. Channing is the least threatening thing that I've ever come across in my life.

With a new resolve, Snape finished his work and left the cauldron to finish its simmering. He returned to the living room and to his letter writing.

*

That evening, Remus was suddenly called to the village in order to work out a dispute that appeared to be growing. That left Channing and Snape once again alone in their quarters. The grandfather clock in the living room chimed ten o'clock and Snape realized that he had lost track of the time while he had been reading.

It was peaceful in the room. Snape was seated at the end of the sofa with a book. Channing at some point settled at the opposite end of the sofa, curled up in a manner that had to be uncomfortable. Snape mused briefly that he was not usually comfortable being alone in a room with someone like this. It was not as difficult with Channing as he had imagined that it would be.

"It is late," Snape said, interrupting their silence. "You need to be able to wake for classes tomorrow morning."

Channing uncurled and closed his book. "Okay, Sev," he said. He hopped off the sofa a moment later and headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Snape stood up after a moment and put his book aside. He collected a glass of water from the pitcher left by the house elves for them. A simple charm cooled the water to a more acceptable temperature than room temperature. Channing headed into his room in a fresh pair of pajamas and rubbed at his eyes.

Their rooms were otherwise silent and Snape decided to follow Channing into the room as well. Usually he instructed the boy to go to sleep and that was all. Remus was the one to tuck Channing into bed and ensure that he was told good night.

"I brought you a glass of water, should you need it in the night," Snape said, leaving the water on the nightstand beside Channing's bed.

"Oh…" Channing said, with a little surprise. He gave the older man a bright smile. "Thank you, Sev."

Snape nodded. "Yes…well…"

"Would you tell Dad 'good night' for me?" Channing asked.

"Certainly."

"Thanks," Channing said, burrowing into the blankets.

Snape stood over the bed for several moments. He knew that he needed to say something, but he could not find the right words to suit the moment. Channing peeked up at him when he did not move from the spot beside the bed.

"Is…something wrong, Sev?" Channing asked.

"No. Nothing is wrong," Snape said shaking his head. "I just wanted to let you know that…you are my family, too."

Channing sat up quickly. "Really? You really, really mean that?"

Snape nodded. "Yes. I would not say something if I did not mean it," he said shaking his head.

Channing quickly flung his arms around Snape's waist hugging him tightly. "I'm glad. I love you, Sev."

Snape awkwardly reached out to pat Channing's head. "Yes…of course…"

Channing smiled up at Snape happily. "Okay. Good night, Sev. Tell Dad that I love him," he said, before plopping himself back down on the bed.

Snape shook his head and turned from the room. That had not been as terrible as he had expected it to be. In fact, now that it was over, he felt somewhat lighter in spirit. He closed the door behind him and made to head into the living room once again. He barely made it two steps into the room before he was pushed roughly against the wall and kissed within an inch of his life.

When the stars finally vanished from his vision, Snape looked down to see Remus giving him a smile to match the one that Channing had just given to him.

"You're such a sop, Professor Snape," Remus commented cheekily.

"Don't be ridiculous," Snape insisted rolling his eyes.

"I knew that you would come around," Remus said, pressing up against him. He grinned and nuzzled at the skin just under Snape's ear. "Fatherhood is rather attractive on you."

"Is this a thinly veiled attempt to make me stop scowling at you for your soppy behavior?" Snape asked.

"Perhaps…is it working?" Remus gave a brief twist of his hips, grinding against Snape.

There was nothing more to be said after that for quite some time. Snape dragged Remus to the bedroom and they were otherwise occupied into the wee hours of the evening.

Remus draped himself comfortably across Snape in his sleep, holding him lightly in the sated aftermath. Snape looked down at him briefly and ran a hand through Remus's silver and gold hair. He had a new problem to work out and he began a new list in his head.

Reasons for Loving Channing

1. He said he loved me first.