InsaneJournal

Not What We Seem - Cliche Month Ficlet
Title: Not What We Seem
Pairing: Lupin/Snape (Pre-Slash)
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,474
Summary: There's more to Severus Snape than what he appears, and it just takes a while to find a way to show it.
Author's Notes: This fic is a bit of two birds with one stone. It's intended to be a birthday gift to zephre and almost is my attempt at a ficlet for cliche month at lupin_snape. I've been reading a bit in between working on other projects and I came across the fact that Remus is often stating that they're good together because of their shared past. One thing led to another and Severus gave his opinion on the thought. Also with the Zodiac meme that went around I've been hip deep in astrology (a fun interest on the side) and I used quite a bit of that in the story (which becomes almost another cliche in and of itself). Please excuse the fact that this isn't beta-ed and was mostly a fast work that I pumped out in between calls at work.




"I'm your last tie to your past? That is the grand reason why you've begun to pursue me?"

"Well…yes, who else would be able to understand what has happened? Wait! I mean, that's not all really, but it's-"

"It is nothing!" Severus said, frowning at Lupin darkly. "A shared past is not a foundation for a relationship."

"But Severus, really, if you'd just let me explain," Lupin tried again.

"Get out of my sight this instant!"

*

It was most likely the most ridiculous pairing that anyone could have conceived, but it was a friendship that proved beneficial to both parties. Since the end of the war, Severus had slowly begun to converse with Luna Lovegood. Her wild and sometimes fantastical mind seemed far more observant than he had ever given her credit for. Severus supposed that he was able to offer her some grounding when she became wandered too far from the path. Luna would be the only person that Severus could expect to truly understand where his fury came from.

"It is a rather difficult position for you, Severus," Luna said with a thoughtful look. "I suppose that had you given him the opportunity to continue he might have given you other reasons."

"He certainly pleaded and begged for the chance to," Severus said, crossing his arms. He looked up at the younger woman from his place at the table. "What would it have mattered, he establish the fact that his entire desire for a relationship is based on the fact that I know what it is like to go to school at the same time as he and to live through a war twice?"

Luna turned to her teapot and carefully poured tea into two cup. She was silent for a moment, as she often was when she was thinking through the information given to her. When she turned from the counter to bring Severus a cup, she began to speak again. "I believe that your problem lies in the fact that you hide your water from everyone else and they do not expect it to be there."

"Pardon?" It seemed that once again she was going to be replying with one of her deep and often times cryptic explanations.

"It is in your birthday, your sign," Luna said with a soft smile. She placed the cup in front of Severus to forestall any protests that she knew was coming. "You think the notion is a lot of hogwash because divination is so unpredictable, but you see this side of it is predictable. It shows much about your past and who you are previously."

Past lives were a common subject between them, though they had not been looked at in this light previously. Luna had numerous theories about why he walked down the paths that he had and how it could have been related to past pains that he caused. He was not a strongly religious man, but he felt a resonating chord with those beliefs and could not bring himself to scoff at them as he normally would have.

"You see there was a time when there were fewer houses. The calendar was made up of fewer months because we thought we knew everything," Luna said, giggling a bit. "When it became apparent that we were wrong we changed things, but the difficulty lies in that you can change a calendar but it is very difficult to change people. Your house is the tenth house and in this house now built of earth and stone, was once a landscape of water. The goat came and claimed it for its own, but cannot hide the fact from the world that his rear end still has scales and a fin."

Severus took a sip from his cup, trying to process the flowery description. "I will have to admit that your notion appears to have some kind of…merit, but I am not certain that I completely understand what you are trying to explain."

"It is very simple," Luna said. "Think of yourself as a person of two layers. On the surface you show your strength and often immovable nature, this is common for people of earth. They are grounded, sometimes to the point of being stubborn. However, underneath this you are hiding a desire for something profound. There are depths to you just as there is depth to the ocean. You may be practical in your actions and your life, but that is not all that you are."

Severus nodded slowly. "If I were to…commit to joining in a relationship with someone, I could not go about it without a true foundation. I did not want to join in a union if he had no true interest, but simple was accepting whatever was left."

Luna smiled. "See, now you understand," she said. "It is perhaps more difficult to ensure that Remus understands it as well."

"Short of blubbering around like a fool, I do not know what it will take to ensure that he realizes it," Severus said.

"It would be more direct to simply say it," Luna pointed out. She shrugged her shoulders. "But dangerous to put your heart on your sleeve. You are not one to take such risks."

"I fail to see how it would benefit me, especially as it appears that Lupin is not interested," Severus said.

Luna paced slowly through the kitchen, coming to stand behind Severus and placed her hands on his shoulders. "There are more ways than one to show that you have hidden depths. I'm certain that with a bit of time and patience you could find the way."

*

An idea did not come. As much as he wanted one, he was certainly not of the sort to wax poetically or to create things of beauty. Expression came in only one form and that was potions, but he wasn't about to douse Lupin in a love potion and be back where he started with his problems.

Months passed into a year and then some, and he began to find that his simple pleasures were not as satisfying as he had once thought them to be. With a bit of help from his small circle of friends, he found a way to bring a bit of joy into his life. He didn't have to have a significant other to be happy, but in the end he found that he did want someone to love.

"He's beautiful, Severus," McGonagall said. She smiled at both the small child in Severus's arms and at Severus. "And I don't say that because he took after his mother, there is more than enough of you in there as well."

"I hadn't…anticipated just how…happy I am to see myself in him," Severus said slowly. He couldn't truly contain the smile that came whenever he looked at his son, but he didn't think he should. Luna's advice echoed in his thoughts. There are more ways than one to show that you have hidden depths.

"Now you are certain there isn't anything I can get for you? You've gotten a house elf to care for the baby during your classes?" McGonagall asked.

"Of course. I did try to ensure that the timing would work best with my position. Edwin was born just after the end of the school term, so most of his difficult months have passed and the house elf will only need to ensure that he is properly watched over during the day. It was suggested that I look into a nanny, since she might be better suited to the day to day care of the child. The house elf can only do so much because of its size," Severus said.

"It would be harder for me to get approval for a nanny, Severus," McGonagall said. "I do see your point however."

"I understand, and I've already begun looking into the issue. I know that Edwin would be fine if he was raised in the castle, but I only want what is best for him," Severus said.

"I wouldn't expect any less from you," McGonagall said. She looked about to say more, but there was a knock at her office door. "Come in."

Lupin stepped into the room. "Headmistress, I wanted to talk…Severus?" He froze halfway to McGonagall's desk and stared at Severus. "Who…who is that?"

Severus turned towards Lupin, to give him a better view of his son. "This is my son, Edwin."

"Your…son?"

"Yes, Lupin," Severus said, barely restraining his annoyance over the stupid question. "He was born just after the end of the last term."

"But, I didn't know that you were…seeing someone," Lupin said.

"I am not. I had a surrogate mother carry him for me," Severus explained.

"But…you…and a child…"

"I am obviously not the same person that you thought I was, Lupin."

"No…I guess not."